Mafia Gazette Past Issue 50
The Mafia Gazette Issue 50 For All The News That Is News Friday 21st October 'NEW UNION THREATENS STRIKE ' A new union has been set up today following allegations in the streets that the cleaners were being over-zealous in their removal of certain establishments from the streets and bar districts while lowing others to continue that were seen as of less worth. The new StreetCleaners and Removals Trade Union (SCaRTU), founded this morning, are threatening to enlist all of the street cleaners in the community to their cause and to go on strike once they have full backing. The street cleaners have complained of being overworked and underpaid, although at certain times of the day, the streets remain almost devoid of life despite the amount of people awake in the cities. If the vote is against strike action by the street cleaners, the opposite may happen, with the cleaners becoming stricter about what is allowed to remain in the public domain and sweeping the less serious items. This was also a complaint from another member of the community: that some items were removed while other less serious conversations were allowed to litter the streets. We will keep you updated with more news from the new union as we have it, but it is believed that all StreetCleaners are being asked to report to Lexicon or CarmelaDeAngelis concerning the new union. 'CONSPIRACY THEORIES ' By: Taxi_Driver Hi again. Good to see you back. Where to today? Sure. Won’t take long… Did you see that in the paper yesterday about the guy in jail talking about the hit on Kiss_This? Talk about dumb on that guy’s part, since he was dead soon after his little confession about his plans for making a quick two mil. The thing is, he was dumb for sayin about it in the jail where everyone could see. There he was, flappin his gums and telling everyone who his paymaster was, and whaddaya know, it was some Citizen called LittleCeez payin for it and the guy with the flappy gums ends up dead. What’s with that anyways? Some guy sits there makin more money in five minutes than you or I will see in a lifetime and then spends it gettin people killed? And for what? Well, that one on Kiss_This looked like it was just because she was a woman, and he din’t like the fact that some girl could make it in the Mob while guys had failed. I think that guy Ceez might have some serious issues there. What is it with people like him anyway? He sits there orderin deaths, payin blood money for lives and believe me, some of it ain’t much either. I dunno how he has the front to offer money like that for someone’s death. At least he managed seven figures for Pickles and Kiss_This, which is more than can be said for some of his other ones. I mean, I heard a couple of guys talkin in the back there a couple of days ago sayin that someone was on Ceez’s list for 20 grand! What I want to know is why some Made don’t just try and kidnap Ceez and teach him to play nice? I mean if that happened, it would sure send a message to anyone else wanting to do the same thing, wouldn’t it? It’s either that or we end up with Made Men and Women bein held to ransom by some Citizen with a shitload of cash and nothin to loose. Anyway, here we are. That’ll be ten bucks for the fare. The talk is free. 'CITIZENS: THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY ' Interviews By: MickeyFinn Recently there has been much controversy and discussion on citizens there role in society and if they have power or should even be allowed to speak in the streets. Also I have heard many accusations of citizens placing hits on members of the mafia community. To try and get to the bottom of this I have interviewed 3 well known citizens, who is the good bad or ugly is for you to decide… First up is MadDog a former Miss Mafia judge and a long standing member of our community. So the first question is what motivates you to remain a citizen and what role do you think you play in our society? There is so much I can do that other people do not have the patience for nor have the vision to see it through. My role in society is to help start families that I think one day can bring order to the streets. One has to have self-discipline and resist the urges of the street. So second question how do you see our society at the moment and in future do you see the situation improving or getting worse? I still think chaos reigns in the streets however there are more made men than any time in this era. They are in hiding. As our streets mature the men/women will come out into the open and their families will take their rightful place in our society. This is a major improvement over what we have had. I know of a few that will be here in the not too distant future. I can't give you their names because if it is published they will become targets. Time to flog a dead horse, how would you respond to those who say citizens have no part in the mafia community? It used to piss me off but I laugh at the idea now. How many people are dead because a citizen wished it so? The funny thing is people bitch that we take out hits, but it is Mafioso that take our money and do our bidding. How many families have never used a citizen to bank their family’s fortune? How many people have been made without multi-million dollar donations from citizens? To say we have no part is to say that one is stupid …it is just that people are pissed that they cannot target us and at times we weld the power of high-ranking Mafioso… It is just something the streets have to deal with. So can you see any downsides to remaining a citizen? The biggest disadvantage of being a citizen, you miss out on the day-to-day interactions of a family. A family will take you in but you never really feel you belong. So can you fill us in on your elusive family line, as no1 seems to know a lot about it? That is intentional. All I will say is that my family first graced the streets two and a half years ago. My first family was #THUD So how does it feel to be the richest man in mafia? *Laughs* That is just rumour. I do not doubt that my total income is within the top three. But I gave it all away. My bank account is consistently around ten million. I make a little over a mil a day and I give it all away. Ok so time for a final though, have a rant, a word to the community as it were.... Okay but I and sure to get a tongue lashing because citizens are castigated for advising Mafioso in the streets. Made men and street bosses should get together and rid the street of useless street bosses. Instead of a lot of families with few members there should be fewer families that are larger. This way they can operate more efficiently Thank you. Now onto LittleCeez, a guy who I have had no previous dealings with but recently has had many allegations of putting hits on Mafioso, with no accountability. He has also been linked to the mysterious and slightly gay sounding group the Wildboyz. First question what motivated you to stay as a citizen and what role do you see yourself playing in society? What motivated me is...I got bored a long time ago, with having relations die and the whole process of joining SB's & Made Men's crews that would just die. I like making money, talking with people & things of that nature. Question 2 would you like to tell me a little about your relatives or forefathers? My father was a guy called StainlessSteeL, also during that time I remained a citizen. I didn't get all this drama that I am getting now, but I had a good time. Most people will know or think of me as a moneymaker & the guy who makes portraits for people. Question 3 what would you like to say to the allegations you are financing hits on members of the mafia? I am getting a lot of shit from people who have no clue what they are talking about, like people falsely accusing me of having hits on them etc, without even asking me first. They just mail me & start accusing me of shit, that's the only thing I don't like. I do accept contracts on people; I'm not going to hide that. Everyone knows that. When people get "my hitlist" from someone.... they automatically think "this is the REAL hitlist", those people are fools. Any smart person knows that anything can be typed up in a mob mail. So to those people, stop playing the investigating role. Also, I would never accept a contract on a Made Man: I just don't do that. I don't accept just any contract either, so stop believing what you people hear. You are linked to the group the Wildboyz frequently is this the rumour mill working overtime again? I was linked to them in the past. I haven't spoken with any of them for a long time. They have been doing exactly what they call themselves, being wild. So every time a Wild Boy claims an obit, I seem to be getting the blame. The rumours have gotten out of hand these days. Like I said, people should stop believing the 1st thing they hear. I've seemed to have lost a couple decent friends.... Because they just believe anything they hear. Then they send me a mail & start verbally going malicious on my ass. So that's when I have to cut them off, for being as ignorant as the person who started the rumour. Ok next question where do you see the community as at now? And in the future, getting better or worse? I really don't keep up too much with what families stand for etc. Don't get me wrong I have a good idea of what families are respectful, what families have honour, and what families are fake etc. I just think that everyone wants to have power these days. Everyone wants to be in a Made Man's crew, or become a Made Man. I think there are people… that take this game way too seriously. For example, I deleted the mob mail, but about a week ago, when The Wild Boys started taking Chido out, I got a mail from someone telling me they were going to come to the country I live in! *Laughs* ...c'mon now, that's sad. Ok time for a final thought or a rant to the community if you will? Stop hating; stop believing everything you hear. We are all here to have fun, don't get so disappointed if something doesn't go your way. We've all earned the life on Mafia that we have, so don't blame me for someone you know, that has died, just because I am here. I'm a good person & may be able to help you in this life. So just talk to me & find out that I really am, before you go and get a... Contract put out on that ass! So I hope people find this a useful insight into the world of citizens as said before to decide who the good the bad and the ugly are is up to you readers… 'PRIESTHOOD SPEAKS OUT ' By: pat_rules Hello, my name is pat_rules I recently was hired by our editor CarmelaDeAngelis, I was given the chance to write my first article on whatever I wanted, so I thought to myself why not interview one of the main men in the priesthood. Give the people a chance to get to know the priesthood for who they really are. And this is what I came up with. Firsts things first: For all the new players out there, what IS the priesthood, what makes them so different from all the other gangs in the country? I think the most important point to make here is that I don't consider the Priesthood to be a gang : we're a family. Any one of our members would happily die for me, as I would for them - we are a tight knit unit nowadays; we aren't the same as we were when everyone loved to hate us. We've learned and progressed and are trying our utmost to move this world forward and at the moment appear to be succeeding to a degree. “The inner circle” can you explain what this/they are for all our new players? Mr-Dinardo and myself decided to create the Inner Circle so that people who have been with us for a long time and have contributed much to the family could be distinguished from other members and given more responsibility. It is the group of people within the Priesthood who make all the important decisions. The priesthood seem to be the biggest gang in the mafia world in this era, how do you manage to keep them at the top, I mean it can’t be easy? I think it's fair to say that we are the biggest family at the moment, yes. My father did the main work and I've just managed to continue what he started... He was the man that was hated by many, but those who knew him will know that even although the outer edges of his family were seen to be running wild he had the people close to him very well organised; that's what allowed him to survive for so long and left me with something that I could continue to help grow. For anyone considering trying to join the priesthood, are there usually any skills you require or could just anyone just walk in? The old days of just anyone being allowed to have a chance to work with us have gone, I think we all saw what grief that mistake caused my father. At the moment we are recruiting selectively and we try to be very careful about who we take in. If people think that they can be an asset to our family and we share the same opinion then by all means I will be happy to have them work with us and progress under us. Apart from the usual *cough* drug runs *cough* and the horses do you branch out into any other form of money making, such as loan sharking? I've never really been a fan of drug runs; it's just not my style. I do however enjoy a regular flutter on the horses, which is how I earn most of my money. In the past I've given out several loans but my generosity was taken advantage of so it's something I no longer do unless it is a family member or a good friend of mine that is in need of assistance. How do you as a gang usually respond to bad press, is this usual for you, answering questions on behalf of the priesthood? Unfortunately over the past few months it has been all too common an occurrence, and I totally understand why - mistakes have been made. We have learned from these and I think all can see that we are now moving in the right direction and that members of the family stepping out of line will not be tolerated. Solidus_Snake (R.I.P.) for example made a mistake, which could not be tolerated, and we acted on this. I hope the days of bad press are now in the past. And finally Is the priesthood in any kind of gang warfare, if so, do you like to handle it with as little trouble as possible, or is it all out gun-slinging until everyone is either dead or pretty close? At the moment the Priesthood has no ill feelings towards any other family. Sometimes situations can be resolved diplomatically, but on other occasions a show of force is necessary to show that we will not tolerate attacks or plots against us. It just depends on the circumstances in each individual case. Thank you for your time. 'LETTERS PAGE ' Dear Carmela, Sure I’ve been silent for a bit, but have no fear for I have been listening on the streets. What the hell is wrong with people? Random wackers complaining because they got random wacked? People constantly bringing up their dead family members from dozens of years ago just so someone will take notice of them? People Making their close and old friends turn against them and then pretending they have no idea why? And why the hell is TieDomi Still alive? Lets break this down one by one so it’s a bunch of Mini rants, inside one big rant. First off, what is wrong with people? Most the people around here walk around all high and mighty. (This next one I've heard 3-4 times this week alone so I'm adding it.) Acting like their shit don’t stink. Trust me, I've walked into the bathroom after some of you and had to walk my ass right back out. None of you are better than anyone else. Get over yourselves. Get your head out of your boss’s ass; I'm sure his/her colon is clean enough you ass sucking/licking/kissing bastard. Stop coming to the streets every time someone upsets/kills/makes you cry... Its old, and frankly I don’t think anyone really cares anymore. And the only reason ANYONE responds is because they just like to hear themselves talk. Secondly, Random wackers complaining about getting randomly wacked. Now this ones going to be shorter than the last one. SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OVER IT YOU FLIPPIN HYPOCRITE! The end to that one. Thirdly, Dead family members from ages past. Sure your great, great, great something or other may have been a legend, and a great leader But face is buddy, You may have a small fraction of their genes, but you ain't them. So stop expecting people to be impressed, drop what they are doing and start kissing your ass. Using your history as a means to earn respect around here really just makes you look like a douche bag, and really...who wants that? Fourthly, (Is that a word? who knows...) Close friends, Hate, Misplaced blame... Face it. It's your fault. Stop bitching about it and move on. Lastly, TieDomi. Now I know Tie has been here through the thick and thin, harassing us, making us groan at his stupidity and laugh at his mullet. (True story folks, the boy has one.) And the reason he is still here is plain and simple (And I’m stealing this from D.C. but I'm sure he'll understand.) Every group of friends, or Community in our case has one person they cant fucking stand. For us, it's Tie. Sure we're all nice to his face for the most part but when he’s gone we all just stand around going "God, Tie is such a fucking douche bag! I hate him and his stupid mullet!" and regardless of where we go he always shows up! And he does that Run like "oh my god! I just found you guys! Hah! Aren’t I great?" and we all roll our eyes and mumble something that sounds like sure... but in the back of our heads we're thinking "God, I just want to punch Tie in the fucking face...Right now!" So there you have it, my mini rants inside a big huge mother fucking rant are complete. And don't worry as long as theirs idiots, and complaining, I'll have something to share my two cents on. Love, Always and forever, Cooter J. Poo p.s. If anyone knows who DC is, I will heart you forever and ever and ever. And maybe even let you punch Tie in the face! 'COMING TOMORROW ' Starting tomorrow, following a request, a back issue of the Gazette will be reprinted instead of the usual weekender issue. If there are any issues you remember from your family history that you would like to see reprinted on a weekend, please contact the editor of the Gazette, CarmelaDeAngelis to put in your request. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. 02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC) ** JohnDavidson2's stables are almost clear!!! ** I'm looking to purchase some new horses, priced from $50,000 - $2,000,000. Feel free to MobMail me your lists or have a chat about anything you have of interest. To those I have done business with in the past, I wish you every success for the future and hope you keep in touch. Respectfully, JohnDavidson2 02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 02:30, February 15, 2013 (UTC) ** Come & buy JohnDavidson's last 4 Horses; all are quality, as usual! ** 1 Hungry Scum $700,000 2 Lightning Weasel $1,650,000 3 Eternal Comet $2,000,000 4 Sexy Chick $800,000 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '